as much as expected or you're a masochist?
My cousin told me about an alleged miracle in a local church -- yet another weeping statue.
Political correctness is nothing new. My great aunt used to refer to The Elephant Man as that poor fellow with the bad complexion!
A Mrs. Milly Propp says she doesn't believe in curses and that Lord Carnarvon didn't die because he removed King Tooting Carmen's esophagus and assorted gold chamber pots from his tomb -- he died in his bed from national clauses brought about by an inflection of the large bowl and the savages of time. Stories of cursing pharaohs are grossly exasperated and just part of the lore of those living in the lap of Luxor and trying to preserve Egyptolosis for future germinations yet to be still born.
An iridologist said to a patient: "I hate to tell you this, but you have gall stones, hardening of the arteries and silicosis".
The patient said: "I hate to tell you this, but you are looking at my glass eye."
The pastor of the Christian Naturalists Church says the only drawback to having a naked congregation is the small amount of contributions in the collection plate . . . and we don't like to touch what little we get, you never know where it has been.
My cousin asked: If I pray do you think my prayer will be heard and I'll be healed?
Convention organizers for The Society of American Witches are furious.
I read where a famous personality is changing the spelling of her name because a numerologist told her
In test after test it has been shown that Alternative Medicines can significantly reduce the size of a patients bank account.
The fortuneteller on our street phoned the police last week to tell them someone had broken into her house and stolen her burglar alarm.
Bullying in schools is becoming a major problem.
It has been disclosed that many senior members of the Catholic Church knew about the sexual abuses by priests, but turned a blind eye.
A hypnotist regressed me to the moment before my birth. I experienced the journey along the birth canal and the sensation of cold air as my head was born.
It's rumored that a famous star who has had many previous lives is writing her autobiography.
The Republican owner of a golf resort in Florida ordered twenty wildebeests he thought would graze on the golf course and keep the grass trimmed. When the wildebeests arrived it turns out they were not real animals, but plastic. The Owner was livid and tweeted that he blamed CNN for the mix up. Who else would be responsible for fake gnus?
Maybe I'm clairvoyant, I often get these feelings of impending doom.
During the last olympics a survey was done to see how many Americans could name a performance enhancing drug -- 82% said Viagra!
Psi-Missing is an interesting concept.
Apparently if you do worse than chance in tests, you are considered to have done well.
The Association of Feng Shui Practitioners held their annual convention in a Toronto hotel last week.
This Feng Shui rubbish is everywhere now. My Real Estate Agent told me my house wouldn't sell until I made changes.
URBAN LEGEND MATERIAL
URBAN LEGEND MATERIAL
A story claims a Mr. and Mrs. Doe showed up at an L.A. morgue to identify the body of their son --
It's claimed that playing music to crops can increase yield by 5%.
More proof that science is losing the battle in the U.S.
Small town Psychic Fairs can be a lot of fun
I met a short-sighted seer at a fair last week -- she only saw the near future!
The clairvoyant correctly predicted I had a windfall coming -- I was blown over by a gale.
The palmist read both my hands and said they contradicted each other.
An astronomer told me he became a Born-Again Christian because he had an old telescope. He figured it would work better in a 6,000 year old universe
Forgotten Memory: Something that happened in the past that you don't now remember.
The good old days: A walk down memory lane after the garbage has been collected.
A neighbour booked her flight on the 20th because her Biorhythm Chart showed it to be a low risk date.
DNA testing has been done on the alien bodies recovered from the Roswell crash. Apparently all the victims
My cousin said those vomit inducing televangelists have damaged her faith.
Scottish tourism has done so well out of the Nessie legend they're thinking of introducing a MacYeti on Ben Nevis!
Maybe some of those weird diets advertised on TV really work.
Hoist with one's own petard
I told a lady, there is no such thing as a miracle, what you just described is a coincidence.
My cousin said: You believe people can talk to the dead, isn't that unusual for a skeptic?
To See Ourselves As Others See Us
I met a man the other day
An American evangelist claims that America is God's country and there is no doubt that Heaven is directly above the U.S.A.